An open letter to trucks crossing the Patullo Bridge

FUCK YOU! Stop being cheap cunts and take the Port Mann! This bridge is not made for your shitty trucks. Alternatively, drive when there isn’t a morning rush. Go between midnight and 6AM. I fucking HATE you guys! YOU are the reason it takes me 45 minutes to get to a job that’s 15 minutes away! It’s not bad enough that my job sucks shit and I don’t get paid what I’m worth, but I have to put up with your shit every morning! Guess what?? If you have to straddle both lanes and put on your 4-ways YOUR TRUCK IS TOO WIDE!!! DIE!!!!!!

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Where is the FUCK OFF button on the Internet??

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I wrote a haiku?

The other day my daughter handed me a piece of paper with a haiku I allegedly wrote to show her the format so she could write her own for school. I don’t remember writing it, but here it is:

My name is Brenda
I live on the second floor
Luka is my bitch

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Word Cloud!

Lookit me word cloud! Old skewl!

Wordle: Bigboobsandfire

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Nudity in Tiny Tower!

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OMG lookie this! There is nudity in Tiny Tower! This slutty bitch is obviously naked and flaunting her flat chest. Her g-string is strewn off to the side and she is glorying in her nakedness. For shame! Slutty bitch slut … Continue reading

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Did you know…

That “dilda” is the feminine form of “dildo”?

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Skytrain Haiku

I got a new job because fucking assholes fucked me out of the old one. And now I have to ride the fucking Skytrain which makes me fucking miserable. ┬áBut I started carpooling so fuck you Translink! Anyway, here’s a haiku I wrote about motherfuckers who act like assholes on the train. And when I say Indian I mean people from India. So shut the fuck up.

Fat bald Indian
Seat hogging motherfucker
Why weren’t you stillborn?

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I’m back and I’m fucking lazy

Did you miss me? Did you even notice I was gone? Yeah that’s what I thought. Well I’m back. And I’m so lazy I haven’t even made a theme for my new WordPress-based blog. So what who cares? The point is I’m back. And I vow to only post when I’ve been drinking. So deal.

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